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Baby Name Remorse
The Secret – It has become all the rage. Oprah has endorsed it, internet sites have blogged it, and everyone across America is watching it. It is one thing to hear someone talk about it, but what are the steps to follow to actually be Living the Secret? What is the secret behind “The Secret”?
How does a person move beyond their fears, unlock their unlimited potential, and establish the positive beliefs to have the relationship, career, and life of their dreams? A very dear friend of mine enlightened me about The Secret in December 2006. During a recent coaching session, I was struck by a powerful question — have I already lived The Secret without even realizing it? As I thought back over the past 12 years, I began to understand that I have.
In 1995, I survived a divorce, and found myself the single father of a very young child. In the years that followed, I experienced a broken engagement, the tragic and unexpected loss of my baby brother, and near financial ruin. For many years, I lived my life frozen in fear, hiding in my emotional bunker filled with remorse, shame, humiliation, and regret.
As I explain to my clients, I found myself at the edge of an abyss; a very dark and painful period in my life. When people find themselves at the edge, they have three choices. They can give up and jump. They can freeze within the grip of fear. Or, like me, they can have faith, summon their strength, and turn away from the darkness and despair.
Despite all of the painful experiences, I always maintained a deep belief there was a silver lining beneath the pain; a golden nugget of insight, wisdom, and truth to embrace and learn from. Deep inside my own personal abyss, I sensed that if I continued to focus my eyes on the light of hope and faith, I would find a way out of the inner pain and turmoil.
A few years later, I was in another conflicted relationship and my life was still nowhere near, where I wanted it to be. On a sunny day in July many years ago, I picked up Tony Robbins book, Awaken the Giant Within and began to read it. The book had a major impact on how I viewed myself and my life. I became aware of my internal self-dialog and how my fears were keeping me from moving forward with my life.
This started the journey to where I find myself today. Now, looking back, I have identified the nine steps I lived through to be living by the principles of The Secret.
1. I gained awareness that my life was at the abyss.
2. I broke through denials – recognized I was the reason.
3. I took responsibility for all of my words, actions, and behaviors.
4. I learned how to control my mind and end the negative, self-limiting dialogue.
5. I understood the source of my fears and consequences of believing in them.
6. I looked at new, positive perspectives of my life and forgave myself.
7. I learned how to be present, to live in the moment and appreciate what I had.
8. I created a new vision for my future, consciously choosing positive values to honor.
9. I reaffirmed my absolute belief in myself, and become grateful.
10. I made an action plan, living each day with the intention of succeeding.
Many people allow their fears to run rampant creating negative self-dialog and controlling their lives. When fear has its painful grip on people, they will have a hard time distinguishing between past pain and present reality. This is why the secret begins with learning how to control our thoughts. Because our thoughts control our feelings, which controls the nature of the energy we project onto others and subsequently, what we receive back from them.
We all make mistakes in our lives but what we must realize is we must be grateful for the experiences because that is how we learn and how we grow. We all have the power to shape our destiny but if we cast blame or make ourselves victims then we will only inhibit ourselves from having the life we so desperately want to have.
The secret to “The Secret” lies in developing a magnificent vision, creating and implementing a plan to get there, and adopting a positive belief in oneself and the future. Finally, “The Secret” is about taking action, accepting absolute personal responsibility, and breaking through one’s denials and fears. Without the actions and follow through, visions will always remain a mirage.
If you are to take away anything valuable from reading this article, it is the awareness that you too can live the secret and move beyond your fears, unlock your unlimited potential, and establish the positive beliefs to achieve and love the relationship, career, and life of your dreams. The choice is yours!
Glenn Cohen is a certified relationship coach. He coaches individuals, couples and works with companies across the country. He conducts workshops, speeches and seminars for companies, civic, religious organizations and other associations regarding how to Create Emotionally Intelligent Relationships at home, at work, and within the self. He trains coaches, healthcare professionals, religious counselors, and corporations on the use of his program.
Glenn resides in Charleston, South Carolina, where he runs his private coaching practice. You may contact him at 843-852-9828 or his website, “I-TO-WE” Relationship Coaching
Order Glenn’s innovative book The Journey from “I-TO-WE” Book and Companion Workbook
Get answers to your biggest relationship question, challenge, or concern – Ask Glenn Cohen
I am having baby name remorse when I hear my daughter’s name.?
My daughter is almost 2 months old and her name is Hannah Goldie. I wanted to know her anna but my husband’s sister is Anna so I my husband would not let me name her Anna. So we decided quickly on Hannah. Hence now even today I was in tears saying her name. The reason you ask my mother and father chewed the name Hannah apart. They hate the name. So every time I hear the name I think of all the terriable things my mom said about the name. Yesterday I bought 3 baby name books thinking I would change her first name. Maybe I can make her middle Hannah-Goldie and choose something else for the first. My husband says he’ll change but its uncomfortable to tell family the new change. Any suggestions? More background Hannah named after Anna my grandmother and Goldie after my husband’s grandmother. What do u think?
I am sorry your parents did that to you. It was very thoughtless and inconsiderate of them. They are not the parent, you are.
I personally like the name Hannah, I think it is a very pretty name. The Definition of her name is even better. It means favored, grace.
I would be proud of the name you picked for her, hold my head high and tell my parents it was our choice, not yours and I can’t believe I have to be put in a position of defending my innocent baby from your snide remarks? Do you want to be grandparents or bullies??
I wouldn’t change her name just because your parents can’t act like adults and don’t want to be good examples to their grandchild.
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